I am still a Disciple

 

Lately I have realised something that has made me uncomfortable.

 

I talk about Discipleship often. I care about it deeply. I want to Disciple others well in my workplace, in church and through my writing. But this season has reminded me that before I Disciple anyone else I must keep allowing God to shape me into His image.

 

For a long time, I believed that planning and Discipline would protect me from uncertainty. Even in my faith I quietly tied it to performance and success. But failure in high school and experiencing personal grief exposed that illusion. Scripture did not remove the pain but remolded me.

 

I am learning that Discipleship is not dramatic. It is slow. It is daily. It happens at 4:30am in prayer before the day begins. It happens during the 10 minutes of Scripture reading that I do quietly to correct my thinking. It happens when I read something I do not understand and realise I am still a learner.

 

Many years ago when we went to West Pokot for local missions and taught children under trees, Discipleship seemed very simple. There were no programmes. Just our presence and obedience to the Great Commission of “Therefore go and make Disciples of all nations”. That memory has recently returned to me. It has made me realize that Discipleship is not about building something impressive. It is about becoming someone faithful.

 

I am also seeing that I cannot divide myself into compartments of my work, my family, my purpose and my faith. The way I lead my life and make decisions and respond under pressure is part of my Discipleship. Integrity at work, tenderness in conversation with my family members and courage in responsibility are not separate from spiritual formation. They are the evidence of God at work in me!

 

I am learning again that before I Disciple others I must remain teachable.

 

I am steadily being shaped by the Word in my ordinary life.

 

And that feels humbling.